Mr and Mrs Uchiha
by Shattered Serenity
Summary: The shrink held up a hand. 'Have you ever had sex? 'I don't understand this question either...' 'Hn.' 'Do you mean never ever, or just ever as in a week? 'Shut her up.' 'Because I am honestly confused...'
1. Session One

"Well, let's get started."

Uchiha Sakura nervously twisted her hands in the lap of her expensive white sundress. Uchiha Sasuke gave a blank look towards the speaker and crossed his arms. The counselor gave an encouraging smile to the couple, but neither made a move to return the gesture.

"A few questions, then." The counselor suggested, leaning back into his chair and looking at blank, lined paper. "The basics. How long have you two been married?"

Again, the female Uchiha tightened and squirmed even more uneasily; her partner grunted and made no other sound to communicate. The counselor frowned deeply. _Couple seems have no communication skill._

"Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. How long have you two been married?"

Sakura raised her anxious eyes to his. "Um… a year."

The counselor raised an eyebrow at that. "A year, hmm?"

Afraid she had done something wrong, the pink haired young woman snuck a quick glance at her husband. When Sasuke didn't move a muscle, the counselor watched as her posture relaxed slightly. _Wife seems to need the reassurance of her husband…_

"Tell me, Mrs. Uchiha," he paused, letting her proper name sink in, "do you two share the same room?"

He watched as her mouth dropped open in shock, and he also watched as she picked at the hem of her sundress. "Excuse me?" She squeaked out.

"Do you two share the same room?"

The counselor looked at her expectantly, waiting for the inevitable nod that was supposed to come after his question.

"Not…not necessarily…"

The counselor's eyebrows shot up. _Wife and husband do not share a room…only a year-old couple…_

"Well-then where do you two sleep?"

Apparently, her partner was not too happy with the situation. "Why do you need to know?"

"It's my job to help-"

"You're not helping us."

"I'm not right now, but I'm trying-"

"You won't succeed."

"You're not giving me-"

"I don't need to give you a chance."

"Your marriage needs he-"

"We are perfectly fine."

"Look here, Sasuke-"

"It's Mr. Uchiha to you, counselor."

"Fine. Mr. Uchiha, your wife is obviously-"

"My wife is none of your concern."

"It _is_ if I'm going to-"

"We don't need your help."

Sakura just sat there, wide eyed and looking reminiscent of a squirrel in a car's headlights.

"Then why are you-"

"My wife made me come."

And all eyes turned to focus in on the pink haired woman. "W-what?"

"Well," the counselor sniffed and quickly scribbled down a few words. _Insufferable _and _rude_ came up a lot.

"I didn't _make_ you come!" She gaped at her husband. "It was Naruto!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You agreed with him right away. I know that you think our marriage is going down-"

"That's because it _is_!" She yelled, angrily cutting him off.

The counselor's eyebrows went further up at his watched the tirade. _Wife seems to have severe mood swings from shy to angry._ He watched as Mrs. Uchiha made a flurry and hand motions and yelled in her husband's face. The latter frowned and looked extremely displeased with the current situation. He also watched as the husband, now irritated, put a hand on Sakura's mouth and hissed something into her ear. The ear turned positively red before she turned back towards the counselor and whispered an apology.

_Husband seems to show signs of aggression._

The therapist raised his eyebrows higher and cleared his throat roughly. "Now, back to the basic questions. When did you two first meet?"

Mrs. Uchiha had clearly recovered her awkward shyness. "We…we met when Team 7 was assembled."

"You mean as in the Team 7 that had to break up because of one Chuunin's disappearance?"

"Well," she gave another quick glance towards her husband, "yes."

"I see." Was all that echoed through the bare room.

Sasuke snorted and crossed his arms, leaning back to get a more comfortable position.

"And you two are now Jounins, correct?"

The male Uchiha snorted again. "As if two 26-year-old ninjas would actually still be Chuunins."

Another pause and some more furious scribbles. "I see."

"Mr. Uchiha," the therapist directed his attention towards the husband, "how often are you home?"

"I come home every night."

At this, Sakura made a distinctively odd sound in the back of her throat. "You do not! I come home to an empty house every day!" And it was all the counselor could do but watch the fight. "Where are you when I actually need you, huh?" She yelled. "Where exactly have you been all those nights? Sleeping with _other women_? Sleeping with _Ino_ because maybe she'll give you a better _blood line_? Huh?"

"I've been training." He bit out, clearly not having the patience for his wife's anger.

_Husband is quick to anger and gets annoyed easily. Wife seems to trigger these emotions frequently._

"So you would rather _train_ with Naruto then sleep with me?"

The therapist was confused. Did she mean _sleep _sleep, or just sleep?

"Because I want to become stronger."

"Why! You already killed your stupid brother! Why do you need to become stronger now!"

The onlooker's mouth dropped open significantly. He was in the room with a murderer?

"To protect _you_." Sasuke growled out, giving a full glare towards his spouse. Mrs. Uchiha, obviously caught off guard, sputtered a few random sentences before landing in a gape.

Silence thicker than a brick wall settled over the room. "Well…" The therapist uncomfortably broke the condensed air. "I'm glad we all let that out. How do you feel about that, Mrs. Uchiha?"

"I-" Sakura stuttered, still gaping at her husband. "I feel stupid."

Sasuke grunted and muttered something, but the therapist was unable to catch it. "And why is that?"

"Because I thought that he didn't care about me anymore."

Well, they were getting somewhere now, weren't they? "How do you feel about her statement, Mr. Uchiha?"

Sakura's significant other scoffed.

"Hey, I told you my feelings!" She said, poking her husband on the side of his head. He slapped away her hand and gave the female a disgraceful look.

"Act your age."

Her eyes narrowed. "You act too old and grumpy all the time."

The therapist, curious, watched on from the sidelines again.

"Maybe because I'm too damn worried about _your_ ass."

"Well maybe you should just acknowledge the fact that I'm a grown woman and get over it!"

"You needed protection at 12, and you need protection now."

She threw her hands up into the air. "From _what_, Sasuke?"

"From stupid guys who would do anything to get at you when you're mine!"

Her hand immediately stopped in midair as she openly stared at him once more.

"Jesus Christ." He muttered moodily, slumping back into his chair.

The therapist loudly cleared his throat again. "And how does that make you feel, Mrs. Uchiha?"

She sighed and frowned, narrowing her eyes at Sasuke. "It makes me feel stupid."

"And why is that?"

Her glare was turned his way. "You already know, okay!"

_Wife gets irritated easily also. Not a good combination when both spouses are quick to anger._

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

Another long, drawn out silence. "Let's just get back to the basics, shall we?" After another pause, he nodded. "Alright, how long did you two date before he proposed to you, Mrs. Uchiha?"

Mrs. Uchiha shifted uncomfortably, coming to twist her hands with anxiety. "Well-actually," she began, swallowing thickly, "we didn't really date…"

The therapist blinked rapidly and scribbled some more words down. _Couple seems to not have gone through the early stages of a traditional relationship. No courting was involved._ "And do you feel as if you miss the courting stage of the relationship?"

"No," she paused briefly, "not really."

His eyebrows furrowed. _Wife recalls no regret in her loss of husband courting her._ "And why is that?"

Sakura shrugged. "I didn't really need to be courted, honestly."

"I am confused on your relationship with Mr. Uchiha." The therapist finally concluded. "You say you don't mind that you were robbed of the courting stages." At his pointed look, she nodded. "So you two went straight into attachment?"

She fumbled with her hands again. "Well, not exactly… We kind of skipped that, too…"

The therapist's eyes bulged. "You went straight to marriage?"

"Yes." Came the annoyed voice of Mr. Uchiha.

_Somehow, couple skipped the early stages of attachment and went straight to marriage…_

"The answer is obvious why you have such a disfun-"

"Our marriage is fine."

"-tional marriage." The therapist continued, ignoring the male Uchiha's glare. "You simply have no attachments to each other. In order for a marriage to work, the two need to at least feel some sort of attachment. You have rushed your relationship, and now you are paying the consequences."

"That's not true…" Sakura murmured weakly.

The therapist sighed and shook his head. "But we will elaborate on that later. Now we will get to the deeper questions about your personal life." He took a deep breath, trying not to notice the fierce scowl sent his way by the other male. "How many times have you made love this week?"

Mrs. Uchiha blanched uncontrollably, giving a sort of choked gesture and then gasping for air.

Mr. Uchiha gave a blank look towards the man in front of him, coolly regarding the therapist with black eyes.

"M-m-m-made love?" She screeched, still gasping for oxygen. "You _are_ kidding, right?"

Sasuke snorted and comfortably rested a hand on the chair's arm.

"No, I am not kidding."

Sakura paled even more, looking as if she could bolt at any minute.

"I-I don't understand the question."

"I don't see how this is relevant to our situation."

"Do you mean...like-uh-"

"This is a meaningless question."

"Could you rephrase that so I can understand?"

"Can we please move on?"

The counselor put up a hand. "So the answer is no sex, correct?"

"Well, I-I said I didn't understand the question…"

"Can we just move on already? She's annoying me."

"Are we talking about the same thing?"

The shrink held up another hand. "Have you ever had sex?"

"I don't understand this question either…"

"Hn."

"Do you mean _never_ ever, or just ever as in a week?"

"Shut her up."

"Because I honestly am confused. If you mean _never_ ever, then well…uh-"

"Sakura, shut up."

Another hand went into the air. "In all of your marriage, or even before that, you two have never made love?"

It was an awkward, awkward silence indeed.

"Are you assuming that I would have sex before marriage?"

The therapist sighed.

"Because that's the message I'm getting…"

"Just ask another question so we can be done."

"I don't understand this one either… Could you make these clearer?"

"Holy hell, shut up, Sakura."

"Are you doing a double meaning in these things?"

"If you don't make her be quiet, I will."

"Isn't this a little too personal maybe?"

"…"

"Because I know that you're a marriage counselor and all, but really…"

"…"

"A person's sex life is their business, right?"

"…"

"Can you back up and tell me what you're trying to ask?"

"…"

"I don't really kn-" A hand shot out and quickly covered her mouth. Behind his hand, Sakura gave a sheepish grin to her husband.

"I will only ask this once more, and I will make it very clear," the therapist said slowly.

"Have you ever, in the entire time of knowing each other, had sex?"

With his hand still attached to his wife, Sasuke gave a heated glare towards the marriage counselor.

"No."

**A/N:** So I really need to stop making stories. Honestly. I know of the general direction I want this to go in, but maybe you guys don't want me to continue, eh? Do not fret, my dear readers, I am making the next chapter of **_Love Advice,_** and it will be up quite soon. This is just something to lighten your little hearts (if it even does...) before I go to school in three days. Oh the horror!

**Summary of next chapter:** Sasuke and Sakura get a program to reform their marriage from the therapist. But what is this? Sasuke refuses to try it? Well-nothing surprising there.


	2. One on One Sessions

**Disclaimer:** This is for chapter one also. Me no own. You no sue. Comprehend?

_0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

"Alright. I'm-I'm ready." Sakura nodded once and folded her hands nervously across her lap.

The therapist nodded back and sighed, bringing a hand to wearily rub his eyes. He had just come back from his private one-on-one session with Sasuke, and truthfully, the expert in human emotions could not get a single reply out of the black haired man. "Mrs. Uchiha," just her formal name made the female tense up, "why do you think your relationship with Sasuke has gone downhill?"

She shifted, uncomfortable once more, and resorted to twisting her hands. "I don't really know."

_Wife is unable to admit real feelings…_

"So, you are saying that you have no clue?"

"Uh-" Mrs. Uchiha paused, briefly thinking it over. "-yeah."

The therapist dipped his eyebrows, noting a few more personality quirks to the pink haired woman. "Maybe loss of communication?" He offered lightly, flicking his eyes to see Sakura shift anxiously again.

"Well, yeah, maybe." She tried to shrug the question off.

"And how do you _feel_ about that, Mrs. Uchiha?"

Said Mrs. Uchiha now had her turn to furrow pink eyebrows. "What do you mean by that, counselor?"

"I mean how do you _feel_?"

"I feel… just fine, thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so…"

"Positive?"

"Err, yes?"

"You're not giving me straight answers, Mrs. Uchiha."

Sakura tried to remain composed, but the therapist caught a slight bit of confusion on her face. "I'm not?" Her tone was quizzical, her hands wringing together again.

He shook his head solemnly.

"Oh…sorry."

_Wife seems to get anxious easily in sessions…_ "When did you two stop sharing a bed?"

The kunoichi squirmed about. "You know, I don't think I understand this one either…"

"Mrs. Uchiha…"

She sniffed forcefully. "We stopped sharing beds our wedding night…"

"You mean to tell me you did not even _share_ a bed on your wedding night?"

"We didn't…" Her eyes seemed about ready to cry.

"Is he very affectionate to you?"

The seemingly teary eyes now snapped to attention and blazed angrily. "You think that I would get a hot, scorching kiss every day because he is so…intense when he kisses."

"Intense?" The therapist leaned closer, cocking his head to the side curiously.

"Yeah…intense…" She whispered, her eyes appearing somewhere far, far away.

"How do you _feel_ about that?"

"I feel goddamn sexually frustrated! Why can't he just have regular hormones like all the rest of the whole male population!"

"Um-well-"

"He could at least put his kissing skills to good use, but no, Sasuke has to keep it all for himself!"

"Mrs. Uchiha-"

"Just one kiss!" She whispered angrily. "Just one damn kiss and I'd have him set off in no time."

The therapist choked on his own spit. "E-excuse me?"

"I could just give him a little touch here, a little touch there, and BAM! Instant gratification from the dead Uchihas."

"I suppose, but-"

"I need to lock him in a stupid cell and seduce him!"

"I don't think that's the best-"

"Or just tie him to the bed…" She glanced up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Nah, that would be way too kinky."

Eager to change the subject, the therapist blurted, "Where did he propose to you?"

"Where?" She repeated, not really caring about the abrupt change in topic. "I can't remember."

The therapist's eyes almost popped out. _Wife does not even remember where husband proposed…_

"Wait!" Sakura excitedly said, bringing up a finger and signaling for him to be quiet. "It was on a C-rank mission, and we were just…" Her eyebrows furrowed again. "I can't remember the mission, but we were just fooling around with Naruto and all, and he suddenly pulled me over, you know?" She looked to the therapist for support, and the latter eagerly nodded, writing down the story with fresh vigor. "And he says, 'I need to revive my clan, Sakura.' And I…um-well…I said, 'And how are you going to do that?' " Her cheeks fired up as if Sasuke himself had lit her on fire. "You know how Sasuke is; he just kind of smirked and let it go… But anyways, he said, 'You're going to help me do it.' I said okay and here I am." She spread out her arms dramatically. "Sitting here in front of a gossiping shrink-"

"Hey!" The therapist interrupted indignantly, his pen coming to a dead stop.

"-and I don't know what to do!" Sakura snarled and picked at the loose strings on the chair's arm. "He should have jumped me like a rabbit by now, but no! He's being a stupid prick!"

"Jumped you by now?" He echoed, trying to imagine Sasuke actually jumping Sakura. Surprisingly, he actually got a very x-rated mental picture, only to quickly wipe it out of his mind. He wouldn't be able to look at the spouses the same again.

"Yeah!" She said angrily, slamming a clenched fist upon the innocent chair.

The therapist glanced at Sakura's attire-a simple pink sundress that was far too short for his liking-and gulped. "R-really?" _Professional thoughts. Professional thoughts._

The pink haired woman, now rather angry, grumpily crossed her arms and sniffed pathetically. "Maybe I'm too ugly…"

"Huh?" He returned dizzily, still staring at her legs.

"I mean, I do have _pink_ hair. It's not that hard to hate…"

"I don't think that you…" But he trailed again as she crossed her legs, the muscles clearly apparent as she rambled.

"It has to be my forehead…"

"Forehead?"

"Or maybe it's my body…"

"B-body?"

"I don't have the nicest legs in the world…"

The word legs briefly flittered through his mind.

"I'm pathetic…" She sighed dolefully, sniffing again and re-crossing her legs. "A twenty-six-year-old woman shouldn't have insecurities! I should be fearless! Sexy! Confident! Alluring!" Her eyes flashed towards the therapist, and it was all he could do to watch fearfully as she hit him on the head with her clenched fist. "Hentai!" Screamed she, giving him a good kick in the shin before returning back to her seat.

He tried to remain nonchalant, as if her chakra-filled blow had hurt him a bit. He failed. "How are you going to fearless, sexy, confident, and alluring?"

Her mood rapidly changed back to sadness. "I don't know!" She wailed, throwing up her arms.

"Well," the counselor started, trying his best not to give a glance to her legs, "maybe…" He leaned in conspiratorially, whispering his next words as the pink haired woman widened her eyes delightfully.

"That's-that's genius!"

_0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

It was the fifth one-on-one session with Mr. Uchiha, and at the moment he was not a very happy marriage counselor. "Mr. Uchiha, why do you think your marriage went downhill?"

Again, just like all the other sessions he had with the black haired man, Sasuke just snorted and moved another chess piece. Sighing, the shrink quickly moved another one of his pieces without even looking at the game board. "Hn, that was a stupid move." The Uchiha abruptly demolished the therapist's castle, bringing the white chess piece back to his side with a smirk.

"When did you two stop sharing a bed?" The therapist wearily tried again.

And once more, he got no answer.

The ignored psychologist let out a breath of air and sat back away from the chess pieces. "I'm not going to play with you until you answer some of my questions."

A pause. "I can play by myself." And he did so, moving the chess pieces and calculating the different moves he could execute.

"Are you very affectionate with Sakura?"

When it was his turn to move the chess piece again, Sasuke crossly slammed down the pawn and glared at the board.

"Do you at least love her?"

Another pawn was given no mercy and furiously slammed down.

The therapist sighed again, leaning his elbows on his knees and rubbing a drowsy face. "So why haven't you jumped her like a rabbit yet?" His muttered bitterly, more than a little annoyed at his patient's silence.

At this, Sasuke lifted his stoic black eyes. "Jumped her like a rabbit." He deadpanned, giving the man a blank look.

"In your wife's words."

"Hn." He snorted again, moving another chess piece. Leaning on his own knees, the Uchiha folded his hands across his tense mouth, deeply thinking about his next best escapade in the chess game.

The counselor sighed once more and leaned back into his chair. "I have the perfect solution to your marriage!"

Mr. Uchiha moved another piece, this time one of the black castles.

"Unless, of course, you don't want to _save_ your marriage…"

A white pawn was dragged by Sasuke's hand. The black castle quickly took the unsuspecting piece out.

"And you could remain a virgin for the rest of your life…"

Only the white king was left, next to his valiant pearly white queen.

"And leave Sakura sexually frustrated for the rest of _her_ life…"

The black castle set up to bulldoze the poor queen down, while his own black queen piece set up to take the white king down. The two royal decedents could do nothing for their bitter end.

"Or, you know…"

With fluid ease, Sasuke's castle flattened the queen, letting her piece roll around while the king took out the offender in retaliation.

"…not revive your clan."

Caught off guard, Sasuke looked up at the therapist.

The latter stared back gleefully. _Checkmate._

_0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

**A/N:** Mmkay, chapter two is out! And I know, probably some mistakes are in this thing (and it's probably not as funny, but hey...), but I wanted to post before school started, which is tomorrow. x.x Nooo! But anyways, again, thank you to all who reviewed! You guys literally made me squeal with joy whenever I saw them come in. -

And to those of you who aren't signed in and don't leave an e-mail... leave one! I have no way to properly thank you otherwise! D


	3. The Therapist's Plan

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing. Honestly. If I did, then, well-I wouldn't exactly be writing this story now would I?

---------------------------------

"Sakura…" Came the low growl.

But, obviously, the pink haired woman was finding it rather difficult to breathe properly at the moment. "Um… yes?" She tentatively let out, biting her lip and wishing that the counselor would just stop looking at the two of them with utter fear.

"You planned this." He deadpanned, giving her the same blank look that clearly whispered he was quite angry with her.

"Not…entirely…" She murmured absently, still trying to squirm out a glare to shoot towards the therapist. "It-it was _his_ fault too!"

The person that was now on the receiving end of Sakura's finger gave a small squeak of fear. Sasuke rounded on the psychologist and bestowed upon him the utmost, most angry Uchiha glare he could conjure up. The glare only ensued another gurgle from the back of the counselor's throat as he instinctively reached out a hand to catch the doorknob. "Really, Sakura, you shouldn't…shouldn't…" Trailed the therapist, widening his eyes at the sudden kunai pointed towards his throat. "Mr. Uchiha, I really don't think that's…" Another squeak as the kunai was shoved closer. "…entirely necessary."

"I do!" Sakura jovially offered, bringing up an elated hand and waving it in the air enthusiastically.

Mr. Uchiha raised an eyebrow at her from over his shoulder.

"What? I wanted to say something." She grumbled at his look, now pouting and crossing her arms.

The therapist, severely uncomfortable under a blade, swallowed nervously. "I-I think we need to talk about this, Sasuke." He gave a desperate glance to his female patient, seeing her catch on and blink rapidly.

"Wait! Wait! Don't kill him yet!" The pink haired woman yelled, running up to her husband and laying a hand on his arm. His glare then turned towards her, and she shuffled uneasily.

She barely heard the strangled voice of the therapist. "Y-yet!"

"Sasuke," Sakura continued, ignoring the now weeping counselor, "we do need to talk about this."

"Our marriage is fine."

"No it's not…!"

"Yes, it is."

She fixed him in an infuriated glare. "You're kidding me! We," A hurried gesture between the spouses, "are _not_ doing _fine_!"

He narrowed his eyes.

"Umm…" The therapist awkwardly interjected.

"We need to work out these problems!"

"We have none."

"…could you let me go…?"

"You train constantly; I'm damn frustrated with you!"

"Hn."

"I think…I think I'm going to pass out from blood loss…"

"You know what? I don't care anymore!" Mrs. Uchiha threw up her arms in frustration. "I don't even know why I put up with you, and don't you _dare_ give me a stupid reason that involves our clans! We-we aren't even having sex! How do you expect to have us revive your stupid clan!"

Sasuke shifted so that he was dangerously close to her, dropping the kunai and giving her an intense stare.

"I-I-" Sakura sputtered once more, "I r-really don't think this…that this qualifies as…being…a discussion…." His black eyes seemed so intent on doing something, that she almost didn't see his lips coming closer to her. But when he finally did make their lips meet, the fact registered in her mind and she happily ate up the kiss with satisfaction. Now she could get him rolling…

She was unconsciously leaning closer to him, tugging his head down more to get a better angle in his mouth. It wasn't that big of a surprise that even when she didn't make the first move to deepen the kiss, he did. With a simple grace she never knew he possessed, Sasuke's tongue was moving against hers and idly tracing her teeth in a matter of seconds. A low noise came from the back of her mind and escaped her throat as he continued to twist his tongue around hers.

Sakura had her hands in Sasuke's hair before she could think about the action. Tracing her nails in a pattern down to his neck and shoulder blades, she attempted to take dominance of the kiss. Her plan didn't quite work; however, her ministrations caused Sasuke to tighten his grip on her back and hips, his kiss now hungry and controlling.

He roughly pushed her against the wall, his hands coming to pin her arms deftly at her sides. In retaliation, she tried to squirm against his grip, making a protesting noise in between their kisses. "Ah ah…" He tutted, before bringing his head down to softly kiss her nose.

She hazily blinked up at him, now only half-heartedly trying to loosen his hands. "Sas-" But she was cut off by a hasty lick of his tongue against her neck. Instead, a breathy gasp managed to be formed from Sakura's mouth. She could feel the grumble of approval vibrating through his chest as he pressed himself tighter.

Then, suddenly, Sasuke pulled back, giving her one last, soft kiss on the lips before completely disentangling himself from her form.

She blinked and looked up at him walking away. Then blinked again and again, before her vision cleared and saw him sit down at the opposite corner from her. She tried to get a foundation about her surroundings and why she was locked in a dark room with her husband…all alone. And then it clicked, and she instinctively tried to merge with the wall…

-----------------------------------------------------------

"_Squawking Bird to Rubber Ducky… do you come in?"_

"_Roger, Squawking Bird!" Sakura happily answered the counselor through the walkie-talkie. "Subject is in sight and is heading your way! Subject should be there in approximately forty-five seconds, depending on whether he speeds up or slows down his walk…"_

"_Good, Rubber Ducky." The counselor returned, nodding once and making a mental note that couldn't really see him doing physical actions… "As a side note, why the name Rubber Ducky?"_

_A wistful sigh crackled through the walkie-talkie. "I always loved a good rubber duck to have with me in a bath tub."_

_Try as he might, the perverted picture of a nude Sakura came into his mind and just wouldn't be erased. "Oh… Well-that's…that's just dandy."_

"_Mmhm. Oh wait, wait! Subject picked up his pace and is there-" _

_But by the time the poor therapist could react to her frantic warnings, Uchiha Sasuke stood in front of him, giving him a look that he wasn't very fond of. "You're-uh-here on time!" He cheerfully tried to offer, but the black haired man just glowered at him some more. "Oh…okay then. This is what I discussed with you…" He pointed to a big, brick building on the other side of the street, a rot iron sign hanging by one little hook the only thing decorating it. _

"_And we'll find something in there that will supposedly revive my clan." The look Sasuke gave the counselor could have incinerated a rubber ducky like acid. He thought that the stupid psychologist would only lead him into a room full of strippers and whores. Why had he followed through with this plan again?_

"_Yep! Guaranteed to revive your clan, and it's not just prostitutes!" _

_Oh. That's why._

"_Hn." And that was enough to get the therapist striding across the street, a slightly fearful look upon his face._

"_So, Sasuke," the therapist commented casually while stuffing the key into a suspiciously crooked key hole, "how has your marriage been these past few days?" Of course, he got no comment in reply. He strode into the dark hallway, trying to make it look as if he was very confident and didn't fear the Uchiha behind him. He probably failed._

_Meanwhile, he knew that Sakura was lurking somewhere around here, waiting from them to come. She had been staked out in the building, giving her husband's positions away until they could get to this moment. The room she was stuffed in had a thin window all along the top, but, because of her short height, the therapist had had to bring in a stepping stool for her. She was positively embarrassed and more than a little peeved that she had to resort to actually using a kid's stepping stool…_

"_Here we are!" He cheerfully said again, using the master's key to unlock the door once more. "Go right on in, Mr. Uchiha…"_

_The latter gave the counselor a deadly glare before stepping inside the dark room. Almost immediately, he was roughly shoved inside and looking upon his wife, standing in the middle of the room and apparently trying to find something to say. Sasuke quickly rounded back on the counselor, grabbing his collar before he could close the door and throwing him upon the ground. Anger building as he watched the therapist scramble back onto shaky feet, he growled, "Sakura…"_

_----------------------------------------------_

And alas, she was now stuck here with her husband for the next seventy-two hours. All alone. In a dark room. With no one to hear her screams. Assuming that she _did_ scream like she hoped she would. Silently, she smacked herself on the head. _Hentai!_

Her gaze found Sasuke again, his eyes closed in meditation and legs comfortably crossed.

Well, she thought, he had most certainly jumped her like a rabbit on caffeine.

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**A/N:** Wee! Chapter three is OUT! Now, I did this without some serious editing, so I apologize for any mistakes. But there was some Sasu x Saku action, eh? This was obviously not as funny as the previous chapters, but for obvious (again) reasons. . I didn't know how to incorporate humor into a hot and heavy scene... It would ruin the mood. Sue me for being overly romantic. :-P

And once more (as always), a big thank you to my reviewers! You guys know who you are! XD


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